The Creative Slump

I am finally starting to emerge from a creative slump that I've been in for quite some time. I'm talking months, not just days or weeks, so in a lot of ways I feel as if I'm re-learning techniques and starting from scratch. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it does mean that my progress has stagnated a bit.

It's been a year since I've posted anything to this blog. For a long time, I stopped watching art videos on YouTube and would only occasionally dip my toe into the art waters by watching a streamer's show over on Ustream, but never for more than 30 minutes. They've all migrated to YouTube now because of the changes that IBM made to the Ustream site, so I've clearly missed some things.

For me, all things go in cycles. Most nights I have insomnia, but every few weeks I'll have a short period of time where I can't sleep more than four or five hours a night. My depression and anxiety are constant companions, but there are periods of time where they are more severe and they shift in and out of my day as if they play some fated part in the cycle of my existence. Yeah, that was deep and totally cheesy, but I had to go there.

Anyway, I've been feeling stuck. I uprooted myself from Washington state and moved to Oregon, so that's been a big change. I traded in one small town for another, a town that still has no art store or Michael's, though this city does offer a lot more options than my little town in Washington could provide.

My art therapist left the practice for a few months before I moved and that was when I really noticed a change in my art habits. She was always around to push me to use my art to work through my feelings, to put my self-critiquing inner dialogue into physical form and confront it. Without her pushing, I kind of felt hopeless for a while. Things got dark. Where art was once a way to push through, or at the very least, keep myself afloat, art became a chore and a struggle and I fell back into old habits.

Those habits were mainly judging my worth and value based on how my art looked when I was done. We've all been there, but it's even more detrimental for someone experiencing mental health issues. It took a long time for me to work my way through those feelings and reclaim the attitude that everything I create is something that moves me forward rather than something that holds me back. I will struggle with those feelings every day for the rest of my life, but it's times like this that I need to celebrate the good days.

So, I'm back. It won't be forever and I'll probably disappear again at some point, but I'll strive to post for as long as possible. I do post more frequently on my Instagram feed, so follow me over there to see snippets of what I'm working on.

Progress

I now have a work space. It's a shell and completely unorganized at the moment, but any progress is good progress.

 I located the table I wanted at thestorethatshallnotbenamed. Our location is going through a renovation so most of the items weren't replenished when they last sold out. They're progressing quite nicely now and that is why my table is finally available. I'm still looking at options to cover the wall to protect them from paint splatter.

I bought a hanging tie organizer for my washi tape but I have to admit that I'm not really feeling the finished result. Maybe I need to stop organizing them by color and let it be completely random? What are your favorite washi tape storage ideas?

Meanwhile, I've been drooling at photos of perfectly designed art studios over at Pinterest. I think I'd need a few lottery wins to get to that level of awesomeness. Alas, my needs right now are for function more than aesthetics. I can tackle that challenge at a later date. You know, once I become famous and make tons of money on my blog.

:)

Unpacking is a major pain.

I've been feeling the urge to art after almost a week of not doing anything creative. It's like an itch that you need to scratch but are unable to reach. Talk about a tortured artist. (c;

I recently moved and despite my best intentions of packing art supplies with art supplies, all the important tools that I really want to work with are now MIA. My gelli plate is only 5X7" and it can fit in the nooks and crannies of boxes pretty easily, so I'm fairly certain it's just playing a game of hide and seek. It's almost as bad as a needle in a haystack except that this needle is clear and in its original packaging. I hope I find it soon.

Is this what it feels like when you quit smoking?

I've been trying to organize my new bedroom and art space but it has been slow going due to fatigue that comes with my depression. I actually went to the store today and was bummed that they didn't have the table I want to use, so now I'm trying to decide if I want to wait until it becomes available or find another option. The jury is still out.

I'll make sure to post photos when it is all organized and "photo ready," assuming my camera presents itself around this time.  Thanks for reading!